Volkanova Photography

21st October 1905, Bitola, Ottoman Empire (now North Macedonia)

Hristo Volkanov, a political activist and teacher, is assassinated upon leaving his house. His wife, Angelina, is pregnant with their first son. She gives birth to him in June 1906, and names him Hristo, in honor of his dead father. She is remarried to Todor Svetiev, who adopts young Hristo and their families merge.

Hristo Svetiev grows up to be the mayor of Bitola. He is my grandfather. In an alternate universe, Hristo Volkanov lives, and I am Elena Volkanova.

All of us have unlived lives. They are the products of those decision points, that can extend far back into the distant past, but which nonetheless close certain experiences, events, and selves to us. We find ourselves wondering what if... A pointless exercise surely, to indulge in on a pointless afternoon. Or is it?

One of the reasons that we struggle with authenticity is that we have leaned in too heavily into a certain set of roles and expectations, or an image of an ideal self that we want to cultivate and exude. We feel inauthentic because we feel like we’re going through the motions and enacting a role. Others experience us as inauthentic because our behavior has no idiosyncrasy - just the same old lines, performed the same way.

Becoming more authentic is not a deep dive on the ‘true you’. Nor does it require that you make a break with your life as it is in order to become who you think you were actually meant to be. It’s about exploring all the possible yous. Each time we decide to explore a new area of ourselves, a new skill or passion, is one small way in which we can play with our alternate selves.

And so I present a portfolio of photos, all taken by Elena Volkanova.